We Irish are inventive if nothing else.
We know today is Groundhog Day, but not many people know that today is also National Sickie Day in many quarters. This is the day when most people call in sick for one reason or another.
With that in mind, we look at seven different excuses which will give you the pass for the day off, no questions asked. Or your money back…..or something.
1. The local team won the County Final:
This is the one nailed-on reason/excuse which guarantees no awkward questions from the boss. The lads you grew up with played in a match and they won a nice shiny trophy. The whole town is in party mode. For fear of being ostracised from the local community, you had to join in the celebrations until 7am.
2. The local team lost the County Final:
It’s just as important to commiserate as it is to celebrate. The lads you grew up with played in a match and came very close to winning a nice shiny trophy. The whole town is in mourning. For fear of being ostracised from the local community, you had to join in the wake until 7am.
3. You were snowed in:
Regardless of how much snow fell, as soon as there is even a sprinkling of snow on the ground, everyone knows that the country’s infrastructure grinds to a halt and there is no point in endangering yours or anybody else’s life.
4. Calving:
It doesn’t matter if you live on a farm or not, or, even if you live in the city or not. The fact is in Ireland, lots of cows are having calves. Someone needs to be there to help the poor cow. The time has come for you to deliver a calf.
5. Water rights protest:
It is a divine right of every Irish citizen to protest about Irish Water. How else are we supposed to show of our wit in the form of civil protest? You’ve heard rumours of Irish Water coming to your street to install some meters and you are exercising your democratic right to make a peaceful protest. From your room. As you play FIFA ’15.
6. Your granny:
The Irish granny is probably the most used institution in the history of Irish excuses. Whether she has died or not, whether she fell or not, or, whether she has been arrested for a naked water meter protest or not, the Irish granny is sacred and once attached to an excuse, it cannot be questioned. It’s a kind of diplomatic immunity.
7. Clamped:
You probably deserved to be clamped. You’ve obviously parked illegally and have been punished accordingly, but no matter, everyone sympathises with the clampee. The clampers have been demonised by society and you are taking advantage. No boss is going to be seen as siding with the clampers. You are the victim.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
